A few months ago I wrote a story about being dumped with a plane ticket already bought. I wrote that post before traveling to LA, with a bunch of hopes and dreams. Even though I was dumped, I was living my best life. I was feeling financially stable, finally driving around EVERYWHERE (I got my driver’s license late in life) and feeling beautiful and confident with my body.
My trip was awesome! I can’t complain about it! I had some of the best experiences ever and I felt like I was on the right track to pursue my crazy dreams and my ambitions. I was happy being single and enjoying every single minute of it...until quarantine happened.
My return was scheduled for Monday morning, but on Thursday of the previous week, things changed. My country’s airport shut down and it hadn’t opened until this date.
At first, just like everyone on this planet, I was scared and confused. I was overwhelmed by seeing how fast things changed. At the same time, I was amazed by the fact that life gave me the opportunity to stay in LA with my friend and her mom, who love me like I’m part of their family.
I’ve had amazing days where I feel like I can do anything in this world with hard work and determination, but I’ve struggled with my mind too. I’ve been anxious about my family since my parents are doctors, anxious about not knowing when I go back home and about my future since everything has changed. I left my house thinking I was coming back in two weeks and it’s been four months now. I miss my parents and my siblings every day.
At this time, I’ve questioned my decisions, my attitudes, my fears, and even my faith. I’m always open about my struggles, so talking about it made me realize I’m not the only one that’s feeling this way.
I feel like everyone has lived their own quarantine in different ways and to me, it had been a challenge, mentally. As I mentioned before, physically, I’m fine. I’m lucky to be with people that love me, but there are days where I feel like maybe I’m not good enough, like maybe I’m not on the right track or maybe I have dreams and ambitions that are TOO big and I’m never going to make it.
If you feel like this, you are not alone! Please know that this is new to everyone, so it’s okay and valid to feel stressed, worried, anxious, or desperate. Asking for help it’s okay too! Don’t be ashamed to ask for it, because right now everyone needs it.
I’ve heard a thousand times that everything happens for a reason, including this journey of growth. There’s no coincidence that I got stuck in a place I love, away from my family for the first time and at this age. I know this crazy experience will change me and will make me a better person. A better human, daughter, sister, friend, and in a future, a better partner.
Thanks for letting me share my experience. I'd love to learn more about yours.
by: Mimi Alas aka Life With Mims